Being in a relationship for a long period of time can somewhat dim the sexual spark. Maybe life gets in the way, problems arise with your partner, or your body undergoes some changes. Regardless of the reason, it doesn’t have to last forever. Here are a few ways you can reintroduce pleasure into your sex life:
1. Talk About It
In order to rebuild an intimate relationship with your partner, it’s important to start with an open conversation. Oftentimes, talking about your relationship and the lack of intimacy can help clarify misunderstandings and underlying issues at hand. It’s important to consistently check in with your partner to see how they’re doing and show you care. More often than not, problems get swept under the rug causing unnecessary tension and stress, which can end up hindering your sex life. If you don’t know where to begin, visit here to learn ways to have a productive conversation around sex with your partner.
2. Identify Your Love Languages
Once you’ve initiated a conversation around the lack of intimacy in your relationship, you can then discuss how each of you prioritizes intimacy and how you’d like to receive it. You can do so by assessing each other’s love languages. Essentially, love languages represent how you like to express and experience love. They’re comprised of five languages including words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, quality time, and physical touch. You and your partner can take an online quiz and discuss your love languages to build a stronger relationship where you both feel free to accept and receive love in the ways you prefer. This will, in turn, help you re-spark a desire for one another.
3. Reflect on Your Sex Drive
Have you always had a lower sex drive, or is this something new? There are a number of reasons women experience low libido and it’s completely normal. Factors like hormone fluctuations, stress, or big life changes can all contribute to a drop in sex drive. You deserve to have just as enjoyable sex as your partner. This is why it’s essential to reflect on what may be contributing to your lack of sexual desire and speak to a doctor about what you can do. It could be a simple solution, such as learning stress-reducing techniques. Or your doctor may suggest adjusting your current medications or advise you to take a prescription for low libido. There are various solutions out there for low sex drive, so don’t worry!
4. Don’t Skimp on Foreplay
It’s important to create a space that allows you to get in the mood. Engaging in foreplay and establishing the mood before having sex will create a special and intimate experience. Everyone’s style of foreplay is different, which is why it’s crucial to figure out each other’s preferences. As you progress through the stages of physical intimacy, you may enjoy some stages more than others. From there, you both can ensure that your experience is pleasurable for both parties and something you actually get excited about. To give yourself enough time to find both of your rhythms, it could be a good idea to schedule time specifically for sex.
5. Gather Inspiration
If you haven’t been feeling sexual for a while, you may need a little inspiration to get you there. You can do this by reading erotic novels or magazines, listening to sex podcasts, or talking to your girlfriends about their sex lives. You may learn about sex from a new perspective, re-igniting that spark. Gathering inspiration will certainly get you excited about trying something new in the bedroom, either alone or with your partner.
6. Experiment to Find Out What Your Body Likes
It’s no surprise that women orgasm far less often than men do; but why does this happen? A woman’s body is complex, and there are a lot of different ways to feel pleasure. If you haven’t found what you like through sleeping with someone else, it may be a good time to turn to yourself for that lesson. The key to having better sex is figuring out what you like and, just as importantly, what you don’t like. You can experiment through the use of sex toys specifically designed for women and/or trying out what you’ve gathered from section #5.
7. Slip Into Some Lingerie
Lingerie sets the tone for the night. It's something special that can be worn however often you'd like to keep things exciting. Romantic lingerie is perfect for extending foreplay, adding an extra element to slow seduction. Try styles that make the woman feel sexy - silk lingerie against the skin or sheer lingerie that shows off the body.