Discovering My Sensuality

By Leila Warren, E-Commerce Assistant


 

As a woman in her early 20s who has worked in fashion, I’ve had my fair share of “aha” moments. The first “aha” was discovering that not everything is like “The Devil Wears Prada,” while simultaneously everything is like “The Devil Wears Prada.” Second, models are just like us — they’re nervous, tired, sometimes boring, but with longer legs, and killer jawlines. The third, was whilst working for Anya Lust.

Anya Lust intrigued me with their mission to inspire women to discover their sensuality. It focuses more on the moment and feeling for women, rather than for men, when slipping into a piece of lingerie. The brand encourages women to explore new things, revel in their pleasure, and not give a care in the world as to what anyone thinks about that. I really found appreciation in the story Anya Lust creates for women in their online boutique’s curation, but it was something I couldn’t quite apply to myself for a very long time. 

I’ve been battling issues with my body confidence for as long as I can remember.

The words “too skinny here” and “too doughy there” are repeated in my head almost on a daily basis. My small chest and lack of abs always made me feel defeated in the bedroom. Begging for the lights to be turned off or I’d threaten to stay under the covers, even in the middle of summer in New York City.

The idea of discovering my sensuality seemed impossible. Especially when I thought it would just consist of an uncomfortable piece of lace shoved up my bum and a corset to squeeze the meal I just ate back into my throat. I thought, why would I subject myself to that?

At first, I thought to be “sensual” meant the same thing for everyone — and what it meant was something I’d never quite discover for myself. Little did I know, though, I could create my own definition. To feel sexy doesn’t always have to mean full exposure, an insane amount of confusing straps, and tight bodices. I’ve taken baby steps into the romance of finding the perfect bodysuit that I can wear with my favorite pair of jeans during the day, feeling just as sexy then, as I do at night. There’s something so intoxicating about wearing a lace-detailed panty and bra under my boyfriend’s large Hockey jersey, and having him discover what is underneath. 

This “aha” moment brought me some peace. I realized we’re all on a journey of self-love and it can mean something different for everybody. I am beyond lucky to be in a field of work that can not only help other women discover their own confidence and beauty, but where I can find my own, too.

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